Personnages

I enjoy exploring, gardening, inspecting everyone's gardens and licking their plants when they aren't home. Some of ya'll might want to water your poor plants... lettuce isn't supposed to be brown and crunchy!

Sometimes I go into wet, dark, deep caves and kill whatever's in there like some sort of rabid exterminator. I then strip the dead of their items and sell them. I feel a little bad for not cleaning the guts and gore off but I figure people are getting these things for whatever reason and it's really their problem and not mine.

There's these glowy ball things in strange places and when you look around, this crazy text thing slaps my eyeballs. I don't know how to feel about this, it's pretty invasive.

Some bald guy and a not bald white haired guy put me through hell for a "relic weapon" but it's really just a fancy stabby stick that glows. It started off being named Gae Bolg and ended up being named Longinus Zeta and I feel like there's an awful lot of puns there.

I never dress appropriately for the weather so I end up freezing to death or sweating EVERYWHERE. I didn't know I could sweat inside my ears. It's fine though because if you wibble your head gently and act like it's the ocean waves, it also sounds like the ocean waves but INSIDE.

Random things fly out of my mouth and are often unintentionally rather filthy but by the time I realize this I've already said it... so I try to clean it up and give it more context and it just gets progressively worse while my friends just sit there and let me shove my big foot into my mouth. It's probably from hanging out with all those dang pirates in Limsa.

My fighting skills aren't great. What's a rotation? I just stab stuff randomly and hope for the best.


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