So I've been on a mission to level all my magic classes to 70. I had started out as an arcanist so I've played basically the entire story I've been playing SMN so it didn't take me that long to get to 70. After that was accomplished I decided to try something new to be and I chose to try AST. I've never played as a healer before in any game I've played so I thought it would be fun and exciting.
Well that fun and exciting part was soon replaced with hard work and determination. I avoided most duties except for story mode and anything my FC was willing to help me with because it turns out I am really bad at healing. Once during a duty trial everyone was wiped except for me and a tank and I resurrected a DPS instead of another healer on accident. Let me tell you I did not hear the end of it from everyone (and rightly so since I made a huge mistake) but it got so bad from them I ended up dropping from the duty. I tend to get overwhelmed very easily and when that happens, I get nervous and I start hitting wrong commands and sometimes I get completely lost.
Well I got my AST to 70 and after that I focused on RDM and BLM, ignoring that WHM until I had no other choice. Now that I am finally on WHM, I thought since I have more experience under my belt and I've played healer before I should be better at it right? How wrong I was.
Is it possible to get worse after practicing at something? Well I did. I couldn't believe how bad I am at healing. I find myself doing better when I party up with others I know and I think it's only because I get nervous with strangers. I've noticed people judge others too easily so when I get into a duty I make sure I let everyone in the party know how new I am so hopefully they give me a chance? Some people just aren't having any of it though.
It doesn't take long sometimes before someone in our party has to point out how bad I am. I get it, I know I'm not a good healer. I've warned everyone I'm not a good healer. Everyone can see I'm not a good healer. So why do people feel like they have to point out that I'm not a good healer? I've played with some members who are not very good in their roles. I've always tried to help them through it. What good does it do to just be completely negative?
Today I ran POTD with a friend to make it easier on me and we got paired with some pretty cool people who weren't too hard on me and I got some pretty good feedback (I forgot to put up protect on everyone when we started) and I wasn't overly flustered. I wasn't very good, but I was better than I normally play which isn't really saying much (I'm just not very good at playing games, but I still enjoy it!)
It really helps when others I play with make it all better where I don't get terrified if I mess up. It makes the game much more enjoyable and really, treating each other with a little respect and kindness isn't that hard to do and it's effects can go a long way ^_^
I play as a warrior tank exclusively and I know what you mean regarding people with high expectations in duties.
I personally have never given anyone a hard time if I felt someone was not being helpful which is rare.
The bond between tank and healer is strong, as I really appreciate those heals.
I am capable of keeping myself alive with healing abilities and potions to take the load off the healer and I would expect others to do the same.
Hold your head high, ignore the hate, and good luck.
Try out scholar, the job has heal bot so it will cover anything even when you lose focus. It's your personal healing partner to ease the journey. Also healer is no different from any job so you need to practice it in real environment to become comfortable with it. Good luck!
It's a pity you're not on Primal, or I'd tank for you and let you get more used to healing.
I'm not some pro healer, but don't forget that it's the tank's responsibility to be properly equipped, reduce incoming damage and gauge pull size, too. If you have to spam Cure 2 constantly, they are not doing their job right. You can't always just blame the healer.
Keep your head up and keep trying!