Personnage

The Lalafell is one of the many well-kept secrets of the Cold War era. The Lalafell (or Latvian Anti-Lazy-American Felling machine) was developed by the USSR in modern day Latvia as an escalation of the nuclear arms race. Only one was ever made due to the cost (more expensive than 5 Gerald R. Ford-class aircraft carriers), and the project was immediately scrapped when the initial prototype gained sentience and opened a hole in the space-time continuum.

It then wound up in the world of Final Fantasy XIV, in Garlemald, at which point the Garlean Empire put it into mass production. Once they were all powered on they all collectively decided they didn't want to fight for the Garleans, and decided instead to forcibly take over Ul'dah in which they made a thriving trade center. This is how they remain to this day as they don't see the purpose of fighting unless threatened, and even the Ascians are so far beneath them that they don't care.

The Lalafell is made of a titanium alloy surrounded by a thin coat of latex film (to make them look "humanoid"). It is powered by an A4W nuclear reactor and houses a Summit supercomputer with top of the line AI which is able to reprogram itself when new functions are necessary.

For combat purposes it uses the AN/AAQ-37 Electro-optical Distributed Aperture System for targeting and threat assessment. In its arms are contained two General Electric GAU-8/A Avengers, while its shoulders house 12 AGM-114 Hellfire missiles. It contains 2 GBU-24 laser-guided bombs inside its body.

For propulsion it has two Pratt & Whitney F119 jet engines housed in its legs and is capable of sustained flight at mach 2 at elevations of 60,000 feet.

Of course this is all still classified information so by reading it you have put yourself on a government watchlist. And this totally wasn't a plot to get all non-lalafells arrested.