Joceline Joestar

Lame d'argent

Diabolos (Crystal)

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Freezing my butt off, day 3. Okay, I like him!!

The Count thanks Joceline for saving his idiot son. He also says other houses have sent him fanmail about how she’s been working hard and making him look good. But this is Ishgard. I already enjoyed myself too much watching Laniaitte drag Emmanellain, so before I can feel too proud for too long, the steward runs in and says Tataru and Alphinoob are in trouble for heresy. NOT IT.

...well, I guess I’ll help Tataru. She did nothing to deserve any of this. But according to the steward, she (and the princeling) asked too many questions in the Forgotten Knight, met up with the wrong people, and caused some guy named Ser Grinnaux to take issue with them. The Count admits his fellow noblemen are probably using my friend and my ex-friend in their political nonsense; some of his neighbors are and will always be ungrateful wankers. They think JoJo WANTS to be up here, watching her own breath and getting reminders of what a peasant she is, all day, every day? I’m already stuck here because of some horrible thing I didn’t actually do, and now, to put it in FFXIV terms, the people who came with me now have two stacks of that. Ugh, POLITICS. I’m so tired of being used in this or that person’s twisted excuse of a game! FRAAAAAAAAAY

After JoJo works out some more of her endless rage on Ifrit’s followers, she has a glass of frozen spirits, obeys the Count, and goes to find Aymeric. Haurchefant is also present. He had just finished reporting when he heard what happened, and he says he was about to come find me. According to Aymeric, the newest man to make JoJo’s life suck is one of Archbishop Boss Fight’s 12 bodyguards, so it’ll be hard to argue with him. I miss the days when I could just stab somebody and -wait, that’s what Aymeric says I have to do today. In Church City, the accuser and the accused can fight, and whoever wins is automatically right. Not the best way to run things, but we can exploit this. Alphinoob, knowing some magic, is gonna get smacked around, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see it, but since Tataru can’t fight her way out of a paper bag, she can have a substitute deal with her share of the violence. Aymeric and Haurchefant are both willing to do that for me? Awww. But of course JoJo needs to handle it. She’s very good at handling violent situations.

JoJo checks some stuff with her retainers and has another drink outside *inhales* the Supreme Sacred Tribunal of Halonic Inquisitory Doctrine. Haurchefant is inside, giving advice on when to speak up during the trial. He also says he’ll cheer for me. Awww, thanks. I’m supposed to speak up and volunteer to fight after the trial has already gotten under way. Tataru’s voice is different! I forget that this part is synced and so I don’t have all my new DRG moves, but I still beat my hater first and have to save Alphinoob from Grinnaux several times, just as I expected. At least Tataru is okay.

Haurchefant congratulates JoJo, and gives her a whistle that will summon a black chocobo. The bird comes in; he pets her and lets me know what a great chocobo she is. Even the background music is making me feel all mushy inside right now. Yes, I’ll accept the bird. Thanks, Archie. Not just for her, for everything. I’ve been ungrateful too, haven’t I? And then a random guard runs over and ruins the moment, because you’re not allowed to have chocobos inside *inhales* the Supreme Sacred Tribunal of Halonic Inquisitory Doctrine. Haurchefant and JoJo look at each other and shrug as he shoos out the poor bird.

My friend and my ex-friend are supposed to be out soon. My FWB says he’ll handle whatever small matter needs to be dealt with before they can leave, but I should just go to the house. JoJo hugs him before she does. The Count congratulates JoJo for taking down the two haters. His sons are happy for her too (she should now be prepared for everyone in the city to take notice of her), and even Honoroit jumps up and down behind them. Then a servant comes in with a message from Archbishop Boss Fight, who wants to talk.

The “none of you are free of sin” music plays as JoJo is escorted inside. Aymeric is here, so at least I’m not alone with a man I know is bad news. Archbishop Boss Fight says he called me here so he and his creepy eyebrows could apologize. His bodyguards were/are too eager to find and deal with heretics and they got careless. Ser Zephirin apologizes for his coworker’s sloppiness before he, plus everyone else, is ordered out. Aymeric and JoJo look at each other as he leaves. NOW I’m alone with a man I know is bad news. He asks JoJo if she’s familiar with Ascians before admitting he’s had some visit. They tried to offer him help with the dragons; he claims he doesn’t trust them, but is still letting them hang around so he can watch them and learn what they want to do. Between the two of us, says Archbishop Boss Fight, we can defeat the Ascians and being order to the gal -sorry, sorry, I just get a very bad vibe from this man. But JoJo nods.

When I get back to the house, I hug Tataru and smack Alphinoob a few times before explaining what Archbishop Boss Fight wanted. Alphinoob FINALLY admits what I’ve known since before I started this expansion: with barely any Scions around, anti-primal action is simply not happening. And now it’s Tataru’s turn to share bad news. They’re about to execute Raubahn. I figured everybody was getting tortured, or executed, or dug out of rubble, but hearing it out loud still sucks. Alphinoob made himself useful with diplomatic stuff, no one has betrayed him yet, and he talked to enough people from Robot Pirate Island to learn the Admiral wants to help everybody’s favorite ex-gladiator.

Now, whoever stumbles across this, I have two questions:

1. I’ve only been playing Heavensward a little while. The ending of the previous story was the most depressing thing I’d seen since Infinity War, with my WoL betrayed, homeless, hunted, unable to hear the planet, and bereft of nearly all her allies (one of whom the planet straight-up ordered to abandon her). Part of me is still trying to get over it. Mash is going “I TOLD YOU, I BEEN TOLD YOU HE WAS A FRIEND SMH” but after everything went so badly, was I wrong for suspecting Haurchefant would at some point turn on me too?

2. I have noticed a pattern: I wasn’t big on Cid until he helped me whoop Garlean booty while we were trying to save our friends. Then he became a friend too. I always liked Raubahn, but after he became violent, broke the “useless chick” spell on JoJo, and got everyone to flee, I liked him even more. And not only am I grateful to Haurchefant for such a nice chocobo, and embarrassed about not appreciating everything else he’s done for me, but the man was willing to fight a very important and well-trained knight in order to help me. Even when he was just going to cheer as loud as he could while I lay a beating, it was so nice to know. So friendship/affection and violence are linked somehow? What does this say about my WoL as a person? I’m cackling, but I don’t think this is the mindset to have if you’re to deal with mankind’s sins like Ramuh wanted....
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